The adult must serve as a good role model of discipline.
Remember all behaviour occurs for a social purpose; therefore an essential element in any discipline model must be to encourage the child's self-confidence and self-esteem.
A consistent code of discipline should be a guideline, however an ability to interpret each situation and decide whether misbehaviours are a problem or not is required. The elements of warmth, moderate control, high tolerance plus flexible and differentiated responses to discipline situations is required.
Discipline should be exercised in a way that is not too strict; otherwise the recipient will feel suppressed and rebellious possibly leading to long lasting resentment and hostility towards the disciplinarian by the recipient.
In contrast, discipline that is too lax can lead to chaos and the situation losing all credibility. Here the adult models irresponsibility, lack of inner discipline and commitment to follow through.
Always explains the reasons for punishment and discuss appropriate conduct.
Expectations should be transparent-a democratic and consistent standard of discipline where everyone is involved in rule setting, say through role-playing and brainstorming, is more likely to be effective in maintaining self discipline.
Communication model, both verbal and non-verbal needs to be developed, practiced and activated, where all participants feel safe, heard and freely able to express their views, promoting a sense of empowerment. Skills such as reflective listening, problem ownership, I-messages and logical consequences will help educate children to be responsible for their own behaviours. Set limits-be consistent, introduce positive consequences for encouragement.
Discipline can only be effective in an atmosphere that is based on kindness, caring, firmness, mutual respect and self-regulation.
A healthy process of review advocates a regularly scheduled meeting to discuss any new developments.
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