CODE OF CONDUCT FOR PARENTS

PROTECTING CHILDHOOD-FOUNDATIONS FOR HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT

CODE OF CONDUCT For Parents and Caregivers who are wishing to create a positive family environment for their children. There is no more important job in any society than raising children, and there is no more important influence on how children develop than their parents.



Lead by example. Practice self-discipline, self-control and an inner sense of personal responsibility. Commit to personal development- make sure your parenting keeps pace with your child’s development.
Love your child. In regard to genuine expressions of affection and warmth, you cannot love your child too much. Sometimes we confuse the consequences of giving a child things in place of love- like material possession, leniency, or lowered expectations, as spoiling them.
Practice respectful partenerships. Honest and open communication –promote active listening - talk to your children so they are able to hear and listen to you and feel genuinely understood.
Be involved in your child’s life. High responsiveness, being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, be there mentally as well as physically.
Encourage your child's independence and individuality. Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps them develop a sense of self-direction and worth.
Avoid harsh discipline. Work to resolve conflicts and problems in your family so that no one loses and problems stay solved-including conflicts between adults- encouragement of verbal give-and-take, recognizing the rights of both parents and children. Have everyone participate in setting the rules so that everyone will feel motivated to comply with the rules. Be consistent. This results in less resentment, less tension, fewer power struggles, -more peace, more fun, more love.
Remember-Your relationship with your child is the foundation for his/her relationships with others.

DISCIPLINE MODEL-ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS

The adult must serve as a good role model of discipline.
Remember all behaviour occurs for a social purpose; therefore an essential element in any discipline model must be to encourage the child's self-confidence and self-esteem.
A consistent code of discipline should be a guideline, however an ability to interpret each situation and decide whether misbehaviours are a problem or not is required. The elements of warmth, moderate control, high tolerance plus flexible and differentiated responses to discipline situations is required.
Discipline should be exercised in a way that is not too strict; otherwise the recipient will feel suppressed and rebellious possibly leading to long lasting resentment and hostility towards the disciplinarian by the recipient.
In contrast, discipline that is too lax can lead to chaos and the situation losing all credibility. Here the adult models irresponsibility, lack of inner discipline and commitment to follow through.
Always explains the reasons for punishment and discuss appropriate conduct.
Expectations should be transparent-a democratic and consistent standard of discipline where everyone is involved in rule setting, say through role-playing and brainstorming, is more likely to be effective in maintaining self discipline.
Communication model, both verbal and non-verbal needs to be developed, practiced and activated, where all participants feel safe, heard and freely able to express their views, promoting a sense of empowerment. Skills such as reflective listening, problem ownership, I-messages and logical consequences will help educate children to be responsible for their own behaviours. Set limits-be consistent, introduce positive consequences for encouragement.
Discipline can only be effective in an atmosphere that is based on kindness, caring, firmness, mutual respect and self-regulation.
A healthy process of review advocates a regularly scheduled meeting to discuss any new developments.

STUDENT MOTIVATION

“We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives.” Thus William Glasser espoused that good behavior comes from good choices and that all behaviours, both positive and negative, are purposeful communication. Glasser believed that by listening to student’s misbeaviours, we could arrive at an understanding of the student that would improve communication. A central tenant of Glasser’s Choice Theory is the belief that we are internally, not externally motivated. According to Glasser, we are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. Glasser’s 'hierarchy of needs' is a useful starting point for thinking about what may be motivating student's behaviour, also leading us to look at what is happening in the classroom rather than at the individual student's behaviour. Motivation in education and student behaviour will come about through altering the way classrooms function instead of trying to change the students' behaviour. Lessons can potentially become boring if students are not engaged and at the same time expected not to misbehave. Glasser says this is like asking someone who is standing on hot tar to stand still and stop complaining. Glasser suggests that a key way of changing this traditional classroom function is to move away from "boss" teaching to "lead" teaching. I believe this will activate a positive learning environment, giving students much more independence, responsibility and choice about the things they do (eg what and how they study).
Glasser’s approach recognizes that each student is different and will therefore have different learning styles; each student is an individual who has free choice. This helps teachers change their outlook on how to motivate student effectiveness as it helps teachers see students as individuals.

The main focus of Rudolf Dreikurs’ educational theory was on establishing a classroom, which would be democratic in nature and give students a sense of belonging. ‘Students should be given a choice rather than being forced to comply as directed.' Mutual trust between student and teacher was emphasized, evolving from a variety of practices, including group discussions about class concerns; a democratic classroom and teaching style; helping students gain a sense of belonging and social interest. People by their very nature are social beings with an innate desire to belong.

Dreikurs maintains that "discipline makes no use of punishment;" his central focus was on constructive behavior rather than coercive discipline. Driekurs summarizes disruptive classroom behaviours by dividing the root causes of these behaviours into 4 main categories. They are: seeking attention, desiring power; seeking revenge, or trying to demonstrate their inadequacy. I think Driekurs’ theory is also a good stimulus point for trying to understand and reflect on why students ‘act out’.

Dreikurs model is an ideal one for enhancing student empowerment and
motivating students. Dreikurs’ model promotes a democratic classroom that has a friendly and inviting nature, opportunities for leadership, co-operation, acknowledgement, guidance, encouragement and shared responsibilities; helping students become self-disciplined.

Classroom management is a key ingredient for creating a positive learning environment, which in turn will reflect upon student motivation levels.